Recording (Family) Stories

If you have young children, read on.  If you have grandchildren, read on. If you have elders in your family, read on.

We all come from different cultures and each and everyone of us has different life experiences. These experiences, and our heritage, I believe, make us who we are.  These experiences can be told in stories, and the stories from our own culture and heritage can be, and should be told. As our planet, Earth, gets smaller and as we travel further a field to live the life we want to, we sometimes find ourselves leaving family behind and the stories they have within them.

Photo by Simon Brooks, 2014
Showing: Disney's Babes in Toyland LP, a compact disc, an Agfa cassette tape,
the Olympus WS-300M, the Zoom Q3 and Roland's Edirol R-09HR

I was not able to record many stories from my Gran before she died, just a little bit here and there, although I knew a great deal about my Grandad - he also came to America and Canada.  My grandparents on my father's side, sadly passed away before I could get any family stories from them, and it wasn't until after their death I found that I had Irish in me. My Mum, however, shared some great stories of her life growing up, when I last saw Gran, two years ago.  I found out about her jaunts to the jazz clubs of Birmingham and her wild and crazy friend. Her sneaking off to date with boys! I got some of these stories on tape. (To be used later...!)

As a kid, my brother and I recorded on my step-father's Grundig reel to reel machine, and occasionally on the Dictaphones my dad sold from his office supply store in South Wales (before Office Max was invented).  I wonder where those tapes are now, and if they still have a couple of little boys pretending to be police officers or spies on them! I later used that same Grundig to record my rock and band. I moved 'up' to a cassette machine, a Walkman and then an Olympus voice recorder. I have always loved recording sounds, stories, other people!

As Gran grew sick I realized how much I did NOT know about her.  She came from Canada originally, told me we were someway related to Cecil Rhodes, but I can't see how! She lost her brother, James, at a fairly young age. Gran and my Aunt (great aunt really) Andree sold their burial plots because they were worth some money and planned on being cremated! Our family has been Quakers and Christian Scientists. I tried to get over to the UK and record some of her stories but she was reluctant to talk into the recorder.  I wish I had done more many, many years ago.

These days, it is easy to record at very high quality for not too much money. With the ease of getting digital recorders we do not need tapes anymore, we only need free computer space, and we can get more of that with memory sticks, or external drives! For the cost of taking the family out for a meal or two at a restaurant, you can get voice recorders which record nicely. My grandfather was recorded on cassette, but there is a lot of hiss on it, as it was from one of those Jones cassette machines you see libraries giving away!

Now to bring this into a full circle!  I whole-heartedly suggest that you invest in a good voice recorder. Go to a store, take a good pair of headphones and try a few out. Why? The headphones will allow you to hear the sound quality, which you might not otherwise hear in the store.  Buy one and record stories for your children and grandchildren. If you have elders in your family, ask them to share some of their memories with you. Record your own stories! When your kids grow up, and have their own children, they might want to hear stories you might forget! When people pass away, so do their stories, their life experiences and the stories they knew and loved. If your elders are young enough, then they can record those stories and send them to you. Keep them.  Even though young kids might not appreciate the stories now, when they get older and get interested, you will have them.  If your family moved from another country be it England or Ireland, Egypt or South Africa, India or Serbia you might have family still there, embedded in your heritage.  Have them share those stories with your children, or share with other people's children within your community. You might have a rich source of stories that others do not.  Share this source, your heritage, your stories.

Books are great, they can contain so much information, but voices of your own family or of those close to you contain so much more - their own lives and experiences.

(I am doing a workshop on recording stories using voice recorders, computers, microphones and Digital Audio Workstations - DAWs - at Sharing the Fire, the North Eastern Storytelling Conference on Friday, 28th March at UMASS, Amhurst MA. For more details visit the website of the League for the Advancement of New England Storytelling: http://lanes.org/storytelling-conference/friday-pre-conference-intensives/)

Review - Elisa Pearmain’s “Forgiveness”

Elisa Pearmain’s “Forgiveness” – Collection of folk tales, workshop, or counseling?

Cover of CD

We all need forgiveness, or to forgive, even ourselves. ElisaPearmain’s double CD set “Forgiveness” is a must-have on many different levels. First there are the stories themselves. But this is not simply a collection of good folk tales, well told.  This is a collection of stories and knowledge which has been put together, very thoughtfully, as a program which uses stories to teach and to heal.

There is the glimpse at Pearmain’s skills, and gifts, as a counselor.  She brings to the front of the CD the forgiveness which is inherent in the stories Elisa has chosen and shares with us on the 2 CDs.  She teaches, through these stories, how we can learn to forgive (ourselves and others), exploring what we need to do first to be able to forgive and/or receive forgiveness.  Pearmain allows us to look at ourselves in a new light through these tales, and from that spring board, how we can grow.  The way the stories and narrative between the tales is presented, is not preachy or cloying.  Pearmain’s voice is guiding, gentle and strong.

“Forgiveness” also gives us the treat to discover, if we have not already done so, Elisa the storyteller, and what a strong storyteller she is.  Her delivery is natural, pacing immaculate, and her voice and style makes it wonderful to listen to.  She invokes sadness and joy in her telling, and each tale is given a power that few can deliver as well as Pearmain; more so, in the context of which she shares the stories.

The 15 tales (and the 8 sections they share) themselves come from many different cultures, traditions and countries. Two are personal stories: one of Pearmain’s own, and one from another primary source, and shared with permission.  These stories add to the power of the program, proving that one is ‘not alone’ in suffering or grief. There are also teachings, ritual, and meditation included to help understand, travel through, and learn.  The eight sections take us from ‘Getting Started’, and ‘Empathy’ through to ‘Letting Go of Anger’ concluding with ‘The Forgiving Stance’. Each section contains at least one story with a reflection or exercise to aid the listener “and those they serve to heal…[to] live more joyfully in the present”.

One could buy the 2 CD set for the tales alone: they are worth ever penny.  One could also buy the CDs for therapy work, or as a gift for those close to us who may be in need of such a program.  15 stories, plus the teachings included on the 2 CD program are very much worth the $22.50.  For more details on the stories, where the stories come from (there are very good sources here), and details on how to purchase Elsia Pearmain’s recorded “Forgiveness” program, please visit: http://www.wisdomtales.com/forgiveness.html

If Elisa Pearmain ever offered a workshop which is based around this program, or brought out a book, to explore and expand this program, I for one would be on board.

Artwork by Simon Brooks, copyright 2013

A Forgotten Community

Back in 1998 I wrote a piece called a "Dialogue on a Forgotten Community."  I tried re-writing it a while back from memory, but did not do a good job.  I thought it lost forever, but yesterday, whilst playing with the kids and talking about stories, I found it!  Here it is. I hope you enjoy it.

A Dialogue on a Forgotten Community.

A community, as defined by the American College Dictionary, is a "social group of any size whose members reside in a specific locality." In this day and age we talk about the "global community", and although my reflection is not global, it is neither limited to local. I will be reflecting on a mobile community; a community I feel that is not always recognized as such and one that rarely involves itself in dialogue. This community is an aggressive and sometimes, violent community that would rather kill itself than communicate in a responsible fashion, often resorting to mindless, thoughtless, selfish and dangerous behavior. It is a rare occasion when a collaborative flow of meaningful dialogue occurs, and an exploration for truth happens.

On the road, copyright Simon Brooks, 2012

Each morning we rise and breakfast and make statements to ourselves about bettering our lot in life, about how we can improve ourselves as human beings and what we should be doing (even if we do not) to help the planet and fellow human beings. Then we get into our cars or trucks. The engine fires up, the coffee maybe in the mug holder and the radio is turned on. Here the conversations begin on the Community of the Road. This was the thought that came to me as I drove home from class, pondering on the reflections we had discussed.

Like much of life, we get some early instruction and head out on our own, making it up as we go, learning from mistakes and, therefore, experience. There are guides that we are given to read on how to use the Community of the Road, but it seems that we forget most of ft only after a few years. Our conversations begin with flashing lights at other vehicles that are in our way, we lean on our horns and yell at people and if all else fails we cut them up, if we can, at a later point. None of these techniques are in the instruction book other than as a list of things not-to-do.

I think that some of the problem is that within the cocoons of our vehicles we believe we are invincible and it would be inconceivable that we would be in the wrong, but we are. By opening a dialogue with our fellow community members we would find that life could be so much less stressful and more enjoyable. When folks need to merge onto freeways we can merge by allowing those entering the freeway to join us. Being one car behind will not kill us and it may even make us feel good helping someone else on their way. We are all going to the same place, further down the road. Vehicles have their own language that we, as the drivers, add to. By opening dialogue, using our indicators (or blinkers), we are letting people know where we want to go. There are no surprises if we communicate with our fellow travelers, no assumptions. When we know the person in front is taking a left, we know they are going to slow down and we can allow for that, but when someone slows down without letting us know why, we become frustrated. We see such actions as arrogance or stupidity and if you are like me, you will find stupidity intolerable. Just by waving people on, breaking early, making sure that your lights are working and blinking only when you want them to blink, displaying self mastery, we can create a better community using dialogue. Indicators are so easy to use and make life so much simpler.

 It is only laziness and greed that prevent us from being more courteous. Lazy, because we cannot be bothered to use the tools given to us to create a dialogue. Greedy, because we want to own the roads, or have them to ourselves. We cannot expect others to do what we ourselves do not. By mastering our own actions and reactions, we can show others how much better life can be in our Community of the Road. Lead by example. If people are let in when the traffic is heavy, they may start to do the same, creating a shared vision, one that would become stronger and more prolific. If more people were to use dialogue and not aggression to travel within the community, slowly our mental models would change, causing a chain reaction, albeit slow, around us. We could make better decisions, effecting our immediate environment, creating a balanced alignment within the community. If this is something we want, by setting examples, it can be made to happen. As a result, our community would become a pleasant and much safer place. By becoming a group, working as a team, we can strive for that same goal. Watching teams play in individualistic ways is not as satisfying as watching a team play. The soccer match between England and Argentina is a good example of that. England had some world class players performing really well as individuals, but Argentina, playing as a team, performed better and won (although on penalty goals). Had England used their individual skills as a team they may have won. By opening a dialogue of where we are going, and how we want to get there, we create awareness about us, allowing us to focus on reaching our goals in an efficient and conscientious way.

By using the dialogue available to vehicles, we can eliminate assumptions and disturbance; we can become aware of the necessities of our fellow community members, use energy in a more efficient manner and reach our goals in a safer and friendlier manner.

The writer at the time of writing!

Text copyright Simon Brooks, 2012.  Do not copy, duplicate, replicate in any manner or form.